双语：美国人如何看待亚洲人的打骂教育

　　From talented young musicians to super achieving students at the top of the class, have you ever wondered why so many Asian kids seem to be so successful? Is tough love by Asian parents the answer?
　　不论是有才华的音乐家，还是课堂上优秀的学生。你又没有想过为什么那么多亚洲小孩这么成功？是来自于亚洲家长的严厉的爱吗？

　　The answer: it is, says answer Amy Chua, who stirred up a storm of controversy which she make the media around touting what she called the Tiger Mother Method of strict parenting.
　　这位虎妈蔡美儿的回答是：“是的”。她掀起了媒体大幅度争论打骂教育是否正确。

　　Amy Chua doesn’t believe in playdates, sleepovers, she even threatened to burn her daughter’s stuffed animals if she didn’t play the piano perfectly.
　　虎妈不给她小孩有玩乐的时间，她甚至威胁她的女儿，如果钢琴没有弹得很好，就要烧掉她的娃娃。

　　While the book shot to the top of the best-seller list, the criticism of hardcore Asian parenting has been fierce.
　　自从虎妈蔡美儿的书迅速畅销之后，许多评论家也开始担忧这种严格的教育方式。

　　So we wonder. Will people be as vocal if they encounter a tough tiger mother in person?
　　所以我们好奇，如果人们亲眼看见妈妈在打骂小孩，他们会发声吗

　　So we give our actor, Rachel and Misha a scenario straight from the pages of the tiger mother book, and A- is a bad grade. A tiger mother can order her kids to get perfect grades.
　　所以我们请演员瑞秋与米莎饰演一出跟蔡美儿的书里一样的情节。对于虎妈来说，A-是很糟的分数。虎妈会命令小孩要达到完美的成绩。

　　“A-? It’s just like an F. You know in our family everybody gets an A. That’s unacceptable.”
　　“A-？这已经相当于不及格了。我们家人每个人都拿到A，这太夸张了。”

　　We set up our hidden caremas at City Limits Diner, a popular restaurant in White Plains, New York. We wait for the actions.
　　我们已经把隐藏摄影机架在纽约州白原市的一家受欢迎的餐厅。等待着人们会有什么反应。

　　Scene 1
　　场景1

　　– We’ve been through this how many times? It’s ridiculous. Nobody in our family gets an A-. Period. – A minus?
　　– 每次都这样，这太扯了！我们家没人拿过A-。– A-?

　　Remarkably, it only take a few minus for diners to step in.
　　值得注意的是，只花了几分钟，就有人开始介入。

　　Can I say something please? Speaking to her in that way is not going to help her.
　　介意我说几句话吗？你那样子讲话，不会帮助到她的。

　　I want her to be excellent. That’s why I’m doing this.
　　我只是想要达到完美，仅此而已。

　　As the harsh homework session goes on, the woman is clearly disturbed.
　　严厉的功课时间继续下去，这位女士看起来很担忧。

　　Do you have a pencil? We’re gonna do this right now.
　　你有笔吗？我们要马上做掉这个。

　　And it’s also upsetting to this woman.
　　这位女士也非常担忧。

　　– As a mother of course, I feel really bad. – I’m sorry, but it’s not what you think. You embarrassed me in public like this. – You’re embarrassing her in public. It’s very upsetting to me, not only her. – I apologize.
　　– 我也身为母亲，我觉得这样真的很不好。– 我很抱歉，但这不是你想的那样，你让我在这里丢脸了。– 是你让她丢脸了，这也让我很不高兴，不只是她。– 我跟你道歉。

　　As soon as the mother leaves the table, the concerned woman jumps at the opportunity to check in on the young girl.
　　当这位妈妈离去时，这位担忧的女士逮到机会马上去关心小女孩。

　　– Sweetheart, look at me. Is that how your mom treats you all the time? – She just wants me to be perfect. – But if you ever feel that you’re in danger in any way, you dial 911, okay? Remember that.
　　– 亲爱的，看着我。你妈妈都这样对你吗？– 她只是想要我更好而已。– 不过如果你有感觉到一点危险，不论怎样都要打911。好吗？记得哦。

　　When the tough tiger mother returns, she tries to explain her parenting philosophy.
　　当这位严厉的妈妈回来时，她表明了自己家教的立场。

　　– I just want her to be the best. – Sometimes you just can’t control this. You know, she’s bright. She’s absolutely grogeous. An A-, it’s still pretty good. – No, it’s not.
　　– 我只是想要她是最好的。– 有时候这不是你能控制的。你看，她很好她很棒。A-还是很好的成绩呀。– 没有，还不够好。

　　They say they had to get involved, because they were worried about the child.
　　当初这两位女士决定要干涉时，只是因为她们担心那位小孩。

　　– What’s wrong with that approach? – There’s no positive. It’s all negative. Whatever this child does, it’s not gonna be good enough.
　　– 这样的家教有什么不对？– 这样一直都在否定，没有肯定孩子。这样不论做什么都不会满意的。

　　I couldn’t help listening to it for another moment. It’s not surprising that this lady turns out to be a school psychologist.
　　遇到这样的状况，我不能忍受只能在旁边听。知道了这位女士是学校心理辅导师之后，她跳出来帮忙这件事也就不奇怪了。

　　– You’re advice to parents who want to do the best for their kids academically. – The approach is everything. Sometimes they can’t always succeed to your expectations, and that’s okay.
　　– 你建议父母教育孩子的建议是什么？– 教育的方式是最重要的。有时候小孩无法达到你的期望，那是正常的。

　　Scene 2
　　场景2

　　– You never listen. And on top of that you are lazy. Gina and her mother Ann look stunned by the harsh words they are hearing. – I’m sorry. – You’re sorry? I didn’t raise you to be mediocre. You’re a disappointment. And you know what? You’re not gonna eat them.
　　– 你都听不进去。而且你还懒惰。这对母女顾客听见了恶劣的话，她们看起来很震惊。– 对不起。– 你对不起？我养大你并不是想让你这么平庸。太让我失望了。听着，我不准你吃了。

　　Not going to eat? As outrageous as that sounds, in her book, author Amy Chua made a similar threat to take away meals and more.
　　不准吃？听起来很过分，不过在虎妈的书中这一幕似曾相似：用夺去她的东西来威胁孩子。

　　Well, no daughter of mine is going to get an A-. You made me look like I’m a terrible mother. Everything I do I do for you.
　　我的女儿没有拿到A-的。你让我觉得我是很糟的母亲。我这么做都是为了你。

　　For 20 agonizing minutes, the women stay silient.
　　在这折磨人的20分钟里，她们都不吭一声。

　　You can’t keep trying. You have to do it. How many times do I have to tell you? Come on, you just don’t listen. Okay, you know what? I’ll be right back.
　　你光试没用，你要实际做到啊。你要我跟你说几次啊？喂，你都没在听！我等一下就回来。

　　Now Ann feels comfortable enough to check on the young girl.
　　现在那位年长的女士比较安心来安慰女孩。

　　– Are you alright, sweetheart? Can I do anything for you? – My mother is so hard on me. – I know that, everybody in this diner can hear that.
　　– 你还好吗亲爱的？我可以帮你什么吗？– 我妈妈好凶…– 我知道，这里每个人都听到了。

　　When the tiger mother comes back, the women are ready to explode.
　　当严厉的母亲回来时，这位女士准备要爆发了。

　　– Are you bothering people? What’s wrong with you? – Chill out! Leave her alone! Leave that child alone! – She’s doing her homework…
　　– 你吵到别人了吗？你怎么搞的？– 拜托冷静好吗？不要再烦她了！– 她只是在写功课…

　　– This is ridiculous! You are the worst parent I’ve ever seen. – You are a disgrace! – No, she’s a disgrace. – No, she is a… She’s a little girl!
　　– 这真的是太扯！你是我见过的最差的家长了。– 你真丢人现眼。 – 不，她在丢脸咧。– 不，她没有，她只是个小女孩！

　　– You’re a bitch lady. – You see what they did to me? – No, she didn’t do it to you. You did it to yourself. You have this child petrified.
　　– 你这个贱女人。– 你看到她们怎么对我吗？– 不，跟她跟本没关，是你自己的问题！你把这小孩吓傻了！

　　– This is Rachel. She’s an actress. – I hated you, but now I know…
　　– 她是瑞秋。她是个演员。– 我本来恨死你了，但是现在我知道了…

　　This mother of two, says her heart was breaking for the young child.
　　这位有两个孩子的母亲，说她看到小孩这样子心都碎了。

　　I didn’t want to leave, because I didn’t want to leave this baby with her.
　　我不想离开，丢下这个小孩跟她的母亲一起。

　　Now your mom, jumped in, screaming.
　　刚刚你妈妈直接跳进去大吼。

　　– Your message to people who see this and do nothing…? – Step up to them please.
　　– 你想要对那些旁观者说什么吗？– 挺身而出吧。

　　Scene 3
　　场景3

　　That’s wrong. You garbage! Just terrible!
　　这错了！你这个垃圾！太糟糕了！

　　Now watch out this woman tries to quietly diffuse the situation.
　　注意这位女士，她想要安静地处理这样的状况。

　　– Do I raise you to be stupid? – Calm down. Calm down.
　　– 我把你养大不是为了让你这么蠢。– 冷静。冷静。

　　That’s just ridiculous. Missa, you write that again? When I come back, it better be perfect.
　　这太可笑了。米莎，你又这样写了？我回来后最好给我做好！

　　When the tiger mother doesn’t get the hint, the bystander has had enough.
　　当这位妈妈还没走离时，有人已经受够了。

　　– Don’t come back. Leave her alone! – Somebody dial 911.
　　– 别回来，别再烦她了。– 谁打下911吧。

　　No one calls the police. But when the mother is gone, another worried woman rushes over to comfort the daughter.
　　没有人打911。但那位严厉的妈妈走了之后，另一位担忧的女士前来安慰小女孩。

　　Don’t cry. Put your head down. Close your eyes and relax for a while.
　　不要哭。把头低下，闭上眼睛休息一下。

　　And the woman is in no hurry to leave the young girl. She waits to confront the demanding mother.
　　这位女士没有打算要离开小女孩，因为她打算要质问那位严厉的妈妈。

　　– You just say you’re sorry to her. She’s really upset. Don’t be so down. She’s still got a beautiful A-. – I’ve never gotten an A-. My dad would have killed me. – Change it. Change the pattern. – She can be great, right?
　　– 你得跟她道歉。她真的很沮丧。没必要这样把，她得了A-也很好啊。– 我从来没拿过A-。如果是我，我爸会杀了我。– 转变一下方法吧。– 她可以很好的，对吧？

　　Stay out of it.
　　别打扰她们了。

　　When the bystanders gang up on the mother, this man Bill, tells the women to stay out of it.
　　当她们在争论时，这位男士叫她们别打扰她们了。

　　On the defense, the tiger mother turns to him for support.
　　为了反击，严厉的妈妈去找那位男士的支持。

　　– Sir, you know why I’m say it? – I know. They should stay out of it, that’s all.
　　– 先生，你懂我的意思吧？– 我知道，她们不应该打扰你们的，就这样。

　　– Do you understand? – Yeah, I understand. Don’t worry.
　　– 你能了解我的意思吗？– 我知道啊，别担心了。

　　– So you told these other people don’t intervene? – They took the side of the kid right away, when not knowing the circumstances.
　　– 所以你叫那些人不要去干预？– 她们不了解细节，就断章取义支持那孩子。

　　In fact, Bill says, people intervened simply because the mother and daughter are Asian.
　　事实上，这位男士说，她们只是因为妈妈跟小孩都是亚洲人，才会介入的。

　　– They happen to be Asians, does that…? – I don’t care what she was. She was just somebody yelling at a child.
　　– 她们正好是亚洲人，这个…？– 我不在乎她是什么人种。她不应该对她的小孩大喊大叫。

　　– Why is that wrong to take that strict approach? – I don’t think it’s wrong to take the strict approach, but I think it’s wrong to use those words: stupid, garbage…
　　– 那样严厉的管教方式有什么不好？– 我觉得这样没有什么不好，但是不要用那些难听的字眼。像是笨蛋、垃圾…

　　Our actress, Rachel Lu, says she was called those exact words by her Taiwanese parents. So what does she think?
　　我们的演员瑞秋说，当初她也被她台湾的父母骂过那些字眼。她感觉如何？

　　I grew up have a tiger mom and a tiger dad. They didn’t mean to make me feel bad at it. They know I would come out of it and feel stronger. That’s the philosophy.
　　我成长在父母严厉的管教下。他们不是想要真的伤害我，他们知道我会走出来，而且会更坚强。这就是这种教育的理念。

　　– What’s it like play the role? – It’s a little bit difficult, because it stirs up a lot of emotions of me. But I am close to my parents. So I don’t want to sort of betray them. I want to show that it’s coming from a place of love.
　　– 出演这个角色你有什么感觉？– 有点难受。因为会激起我很多情绪。但我一直待在父母亲旁，我不想变成叛逆的孩子。我也想要向他们表示，我是爱他们的。

　　So what will Rachel’s parenting style be?
　　那么瑞秋会怎么管教她的小孩呢？

　　There’s no A-s, A is okay.
　　不可以拿A-。A是可以的。

　　But get this. As it turns out, author Amy Chua, who started the tiger mother uproar, had a change of heart about strict parenting, after her youngest daughter rebelled.
　　但看看这个。结果掀起打骂教育热潮的作家虎妈蔡美儿，已经改变她的态度了，因为她最小的女儿革命成功了。

　　I started to lose touch. But then luckily, I listened, you know, when I pulled back.
　　我那时开始跟她们越来越远，但很幸运的，我听进她们的话了。

　　So she’s lightened up on her own children.
　　所以她对她的孩子们没那么严了。

　　Everybody wants the best for their kids, but you have to go to that in the right way.
　　每个人都希望自己小孩是最好的，但也要用对的方式。

　　It’s a sentiment shared by so many others here.
　　这是这里每个人共同的感想。

　　– You have to accept your child for who they are. – Let them be kids.
　　– 你必须接受孩子的人格发展。– 让他们像小孩应有的样子。