BEC写作：BEC名师点评网友作文

2016-04-06 10:11:00来源：网络

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　　剑桥英语,商务英语BEC,商务英语写作

　　本期作文题目：

　　Formulate a smoking policy for your office which is fair to both smokers and nonsmokers. Write a 40-50 word memo informing all staff of the policy.

　　老师提示：

　　我们需要确定，如果我是公司职员，我要在这篇memo中获得什么信息?是不是要知道：

　　1.新的吸烟政策从什么时候开始;

　　2.吸烟区划定在什么地方?

　　网友作文一：

　　TO: All Employees

　　FROM: CEO, Willan Smith

　　SUBJECT: NEW SMOKING POLICY

　　For all the employees, especially smokers,[1] plz be aware that our company's new smoking policy has been formulated as follow: A main smoking area's going to be restricted before Next MONDAY[2], anyone is not allowed to smoker in non-smoking zone even in the washing room.[3]

　　Plz target the smoking and non-smoking area and stick to the company's new policy.[4]

　　Thx.

　　_________________________________________

　　[1]去掉，抬头已经写过给所有的员工，所以直接从正文开始就行了，费这个事干什么?

　　[2]时间不确切，最好是 from next Monday. Before 这个期限是什么时候?如果不能给出确切信息，就不要说，还不如换成具体的吸烟区域更好: be restricted to the room next to the toilet.

　　[3]你经常在洗手间吸烟吗?或者你们公司有这样的同事?把这句话去掉。

　　[4]添加：to ensure that it is fair to all of you.

　　网友作文二：

　　To: All staff

　　From: Hope0068

　　Everybody know that smoking is dangerous for your health. And the The studies didn't just point to the ill effects of smoking on those who smoke--non-smokers, too. [1] Notice is hereby given that the smoking area is located in the special corner[2] of the first floor of this building. This come into force on[3] September 15th.

　　Thanks.

　　_________________________________________

　　[1]Memo 的主要作用就是提醒同事们注意事项，这和吸烟有多有害不相干，去掉。改为：to assure working environment

　　[2]一般的公司都应该给个room

　　[3]from

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