BEC写作：BEC名师点评网友的作文

2016-04-06 10:11:00来源：网络

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　　本期作文题目：

　　You are a regional salesman for an office equipment supplier. You are organising your schedule for visiting your existing clients next month.

　　Write an e-mail of 40-50 words to one of your clients:

　　*explaining why you would like to visit them

　　*proposing a time to visit

　　*asking them to suggest an alternative if necessary.

　　Sample:

　　Dear Mr. Shultz:

　　Our new catalogue is now ready. I will be in your city on 16th December and would be able to visit your office to discuss our special Winter offers with you then. Please let me know if this would be convenient or contact me to suggest an alternative.

　　网友作文一：

　　Dear Mr. Smith,

　　I would like to visit you to discuss about the detail price and function of our office equipment that you want to buy. So I am planning to visit you at this weekend. [1] Is it available for you? If it is not,[2] please suggest me an alternative.

　　With best regards,

　　Yours sincerely,

　　Ellen

　　[1]啰嗦。如果要用定语从句，建议改为：that we offered. 后句去掉。

　　[2]合二为一。If that is not available for you, please suggest an alternative.

　　网友作文二：

　　To: Jim

　　From: Sant

　　Subject: Visiting Schedule

　　In order to talk with you on the conditions and items of the insurance policy, I attempt to visit you on 22th November. Provided that the date is unconvenient for you ,do not hesitate to suggest me the alternative days. [1]

　　Regards!

　　[1]这个过去分词出师无名，句子主体是没有主语的，这是祈使句。建议把句子补齐，把主语添上。

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