整容算什么　我整我快乐

　　There"s a great new article in May's O Magazine called "How Old Do I Look?" It features four women from age 42 to 81 and divulges what kinds of aesthetic work they've had done, from Botox to face lifts. Revolutionary. It was so refreshing to look at their faces and know the reason they looked so good for their age was due to work they had done, not because they were eating a macrobiotic diet while doing inverted sit-ups, yogic postures and drinking Chinese herbal teas.
　　《奥普拉杂志》里有篇最新的热文“我看起来多大年纪？”文章描述了年龄段在42到81的四位女性，并透露她们如何整容保持娇美面容的，有人打了肉毒杆菌，还有人做了面部拉皮。看到她们和年龄不相符的保养无瑕的脸庞，你忽然发现都是整出来的，而不是通过食疗，辛苦地做仰卧起坐，练习瑜伽，喝中国的花草茶保养出来的。你会觉得太不可思议了。
　　Because every message we get -- from advertising to television shows to red carpet photographs -- is that if we are not youthfully beautiful then we are flat-out not good. That being beautiful is some sort of reflection on a person's character, will power and self-control. There may be ageless, perfectly fit people out there who have never had a thing done, but I don't want to know them. I'm interested in the women who admit their beauty requires certain Herculean tasks or procedures.
　　我们周围接收到的每条信息，从商业广告，到电视节目再到红毯走秀—这些信息给我们传递一点无非就是如果不年轻漂亮，那你就完蛋了。漂亮甚至作为了一个人性格，意志力甚至自控能力的某种表现了。或许有长生不老的人，身材完美，从没做过整容，但我不想知道他们中都有谁。使我感兴趣的反而是那些承认自己的美丽付出了巨大代价的女人。
　　Here is my suggestion: use your beauty for good, not evil. Be transparent with other women about your beauty secrets. Let's be supportive of one another rather than competitive. My friend -- code-name Tango 5/6 -- is 47 and has absolutely no body fat and a little six-pack. I resent her for this, but I know what she does to achieve that kind of fitness. She drinks green shakes she makes from the broccoli and bean sprouts in her own garden. She does Ab-Ripper X and more push-ups than a Navy Seal during hell week. I don't want to do that! I want to exercise just enough to still be able to drink wine and eat chocolate and accept my body the way it is under those circumstances. So I forgive her Tango. I even brag about her and make her show everyone her stomach. Another friend -- code-name Svetlana -- has Barbie proportions and a face at 60 with nary a wrinkle nor a sag. And she doesn't look "done." But she divulged to me that it took several surgeries to achieve that look. Thank God, otherwise I was going to have to take her out! Bring in a surgical strike team of the military persuasion. I'm not suggesting that we wear signs around our necks saying "calf implants, " "5 Fraxel laser treatments" or "microdermabrasion with a side of breast lift." But I also don't think it's fair to let our friends think we simply have superior genes and drink a lot of water when our beauty has come at a price.
　　我的建议就是：用你的美丽成就自己，而不去干坏事。要乐于和其它女人分享你的美丽秘籍。我们姐妹们要相互支持而不要恶意竞争。我一个朋友代号为 探戈5/6 ，47岁的年纪，身上没有一点赘肉，还有点腹肌。我对她的魔鬼身材很是羡慕嫉妒恨。但我知道她也为有个好身材这是费尽了心思。她从几家花园里种的花椰菜和芽菜，自制了一种绿色的奶昔来喝。每周她都遭罪般地腹肌训练，比美国的海报特遣队做的仰卧起坐还多。我可不想这么折磨自己，我只想锻炼锻炼，照常喝点小酒，吃吃巧克力，和我的肥硕的身体和平相处。因此，我对探戈肃然起敬。还帮她吹大牛，每每遇见了人，还让她显摆显摆她的平坦的小腹。另外一个朋友代号为斯维特拉娜，芭比娃娃般的身段，60岁了，脸部精致，不仅皮肤不松弛，一点皱纹也没有。而且，她看起来不像整过容的，但她偷偷告诉我实际上她整过好几次容了。谢天谢地，要不然，说不定我还得说服她，带她去做外科手术整容呢。说这些，我并不是意味着我们脖子得挂个牌子，上面写着“小腿移植了，”“做过飞梭雷射美肤美白”或“微晶换肤一边隆胸了。”但让我们的朋友认为我们天生基因优越，补充了大量的水分才这般俏丽的，我认为这样表达也不公平。
　　So, in celebration of Beauty Transparency Score (I just coined that phrase) here's what I've done to look the way I do: At 45 I had a brow lift/blepharectomy. I have my hair highlighted. I wear make-up every day. I've had laser hair removal in various southern climes. I've had Lasik eye surgery to eschew the need for glasses. I have veneers on my two front teeth because I broke one when I was a kid. I've had tooth whitening treatments, mani/pedis, waxing and eye brow shaping. I use anti-oxidant creams, serum lifting creams, eye creams, cream of tartar, creamed spinach and Cream of Wheat. I wash and curl my hair twice a week. I shave daily and I use personal lubricants. Yes. I had to take it just one step too far. I'm a migrant worker to the crop that is my body and I know I'm a spoiled, privileged white-collar woman, but we can tackle that topic another day.
　　因此呢，为了庆祝 透明美丽计划（我自创的词汇哈） 的实施，如下是我为了看起来更美丽做的“小动作”：45岁的时候，我做了前额拉皮手术，染了头发。我每天都化妆。在各个南方国家我做过激光脱毛。我还做了镭射视力矫正手术摘掉了眼镜。我两颗门牙还做了烤瓷，因为我小时候磕掉一颗牙。我美白了牙齿，纹了眉。我使用看氧化的面霜，乳清膏，眼霜，塔塔粉。我还用捣成糊状的菠菜敷脸，用过小麦精华霜。一周我洗头发两次并做两次卷发。每天我都除毛，使用个人身体润滑剂。是呀，我必须进一步超美丽目标前进。我就像一个耕作农作物的外来工人，“耕耘着”我的身体。我知道我是个被宠坏不知天高地厚的都市白领女性，或许改天我们可以聊下这个话题。
　　In the near future I'm considering a skin-tightening laser called Ulthera (is this snake oil? Anyone?) and perhaps some Fraxel to get rid of sun spots. I'm aging and gravity is winning. But I'm planning to die very old with a good-looking corpse and to share my road map along the way. My next post will be about my work in Ukrainian orphanages...
　　不久将来，我还考虑着做个激光紧肤手术，或做个飞梭镭射美肤手术去掉雀斑。我在慢慢变老，皮肤也松弛下垂了。我计划着当我老死的时候，还能带着美丽的面孔离去，一路和大家分享生命中的点点滴滴。