第一次给女生打电话说啥有门道

　　Hey, it’s Ben, from The Modern Man. One of the cool techniques I talk about at the Dating Power seminar is the Caller Guessing Technique. This is a very interesting and unique technique that you can use when you make that first phone call to a girl to really avoid that awkward moment, that awkward tension that usually happens when you make that first call. So, check it out.

　　大家好，我是“现代男人”的本。我在“约会能力”培训班中谈到的一个很棒的技巧便是“揣测谁的来电”。这是一个非常有趣而且非常独特的技巧，它能帮助你在第一次给某个女孩打电话的时候避免尴尬——这种尴尬的紧张情绪通常在你们的这种初次通话中出现。嗯，来听听吧。

　　This is very important. This is like a critical point from, you’ve done all that greatwork, you’ve been out interacting, you’ve got her phone number, now it’s like ‘Right, I’ve, I’ve,OK, I’ve got to move forward with this, I’ve gotta take some steps. I need to set up a date to really get to that point where I can establish some sort of dating relationship’ ,whatever it is that you’re looking for.

　　首次通话非常重要。你能做的都做了，你们已经面对面交流过了，你已经拿到了她的电话号码，相对于这些而言，首次通话就像一个临界点。现在，你在寻思，“好了，我已经……已经……好吧，我得再进一步，我得采取点行动才行。我需要先约她出来一次，才能真正达到建立某种关系的地步”——不管你期望是什么关系，你都得先约到她。

　　Why is calling important? Again,it demonstrates confidence; it’s the critical point of moving your interaction forward. So you just need to do it. There’s no two ways about it, just…you need to make that call. Now, there are some guidelines that we’re gonna give you to make that call a lot easier,and these are very effective things that you should follow before and during that first call. The reason why so many guys struggle with the first call, is simply because they don’t know what to do, they don’t know what to say, they don’t know what the structure should be on the phone.

　　为什么打电话很重要呢？还是那句话，首次通话能表现出你的自信，是推动你的交流前进的临界点。所以你必须要走出这一步。没有第二个选择，你需要打这通电话。现在，我们要给你提供一些指导，帮助你更轻松地打出这通电话。这些指导都很有效，你应该在首次通话前及通话中贯彻下去。有那么多男人纠结于首次通话的原因仅仅在于，他们不知道该做什么，不知道该说什么，不知道通话时的条理性是怎样的。

　　So, how do you do it? Prepare for the call. The Caller Guessing Technique. Now, the way this technique works is that you’re simply letting her guess it’s you,while using callback humor and topics. When she answers the phone, you’re not going ‘Hey, this is Ben, we met at…’ You’re not even identifying it’s you. You might say something cheeky or something interesting or flirting on the phone that is specific to you and her andthe interaction that you guys had when you met. Now you’re starting to see why it’s so important to be present, to use the techniques, to flirt, to spark attraction, to connect.You find out things about the girl,she finds out things about you,you’ve got this dynamic going back and forward, and now you’ve got useful things that you can talk about when you make the first call, when you’re out on that first date. There shouldn’t have to be any of those awkward silences,there should be always things to talk about. And when you get very,very good at this, you’ll actually get women saying to you, ‘I feel Icould say anything to you. You just,I just feel so comfortable.’ And that will happen, as you become really,really good.

　　那么，你该怎么做呢？打电话前做好准备。采用“揣测谁的来电”技巧。这个技巧的原理在于，你要简简单单地让她猜出是你——这时要使用上次面对面聊天时的幽默和话题。她接通电话之后，你不能说“你好，我是本，咱们上次在哪里见过……”你千万不能明确你是谁。你应该在电话里说些挑逗的话或者有趣的话或者调调情，说到的内容必须仅限于你和她之间，仅限于你们俩上次遇到时交流过的内容。这样你就开始发现为何当时见面是如此重要，使用一些技巧是如此重要，调情、激发兴趣以及心领神会是如此重要。你能从中了解那个女孩的事，她也会了解到你的事，你们这种互动不断来回，现在你就有了一些很有用的信息可以在第一次打电话的时候提起，以及第一次正式约会的时候聊聊。这其中不该有任何那种尴尬的沉默，而应该是总有说不完的话。当你在这方面表现得非常好的时候，你就可以真的让女士们对你说出“我觉得什么事都可以跟你说，你真是……你让我感觉很舒服。”在你表现得非常好的时候，这就会发生了。

　　After you’ve used that technique, then you just might have a bit of general chit-chat. A bit of fluff talk, like ‘How have you been?’ ‘What have you been up to?’ She may be at work, just get some general details. And then just simply lead the conversation using topics you’ve already spoken about. So, it’s basically your job,when you’re interacting, to get those details, to find out some things about her, you should be taking an active interest in any girl you speak to, even if you’re actually not interested in catching up with her. Just get in the habit of taking an interest in her. In people in general, but especially women. And as you get better at that, naturally things will tend to fall in place,especially for those critical points when you’re actually out standing in front of a girl that you’re really attracted to and you would love to get her phone number. And follow up with a date. It’s like all those other interactions are practice for that key point, when there’s a girl in front of you that you really like. I cannot stress how important that is. Otherwise, if you haven’t had all those interactions prior, and you get the girl that you really like sitting in front of you, and you’ve had zero practice, chances are it’s not gonna happen.

　　你采用了“揣测谁的来电”技巧之后，你也许会要话一下家常，闲谈一下，比如“最近过得怎么样”“你最近在做么”之类的。她或许在工作，那就获取一些一般的细节信息，然后只需用你们已经谈论过的话题继续聊下去就行了。嗯，在交流时，获取这些细节信息以及了解她的一些事情基本上是你的任务，你应该以一种充满兴趣的情绪和与你聊天的任何女生谈话，就算你其实没有兴趣知道她的近况也应如此。你要养成习惯，表现得对她感兴趣——对所有人感兴趣，尤其是女性。一旦你在这方面有了进展，好事自然而然地就会降临了，尤其是在那些关键场合的时候——你真的站在了你非常喜欢的那个女孩面前，而且你非常想拿到她的电话号码的时候。然后再定个约会。那个你喜欢的女孩站在你面前的时候是关键时刻，而那些其他的交流就像是这个关键时刻的预演。我无法强调这种预演有多么重要。可是，如果你事先没有这种交流，就算你非常喜欢的那个女生就坐在你面前，如果你没有任何经验，你追到她的机率也是零。