社交：为什么你的朋友那么少

1. You Complain A Lot

　　你总是抱怨

　　If you’re constantly complaining about your job, lack of money, or unfair life, people won’t care to spend a lot of time with you. Complaining gets old fast. Try to develop a more positive attitude and look for more interesting topics to discuss rather than what’s going wrong in your life.

　　如果你一直喋喋不休地抱怨工作，抱怨钱少，或是抱怨生命的不公，那旁人就会不屑花费过多的时间在你身上。再者，抱怨让人老得快。所以要培养一份更乐观的态度，并用更风趣的话题来代替你的碎碎念。

　　2. You Ditch Your Friends When You’re in a Relationship

　　重色轻友

　　If you’re guilty of ditching your friends every time you begin dating someone new, it’s likely your friends won’t sit around and wait to hear your breakup story. Instead, they’ll move on without you. It’s important to find a balance between spending time with your pals and your latest romantic interest.

　　每当开始约会新的对象时，若你很愧疚地忽视朋友，那你的朋友可能就不会在你分手时陪伴左右，听你诉苦。并且，在他们的人生蓝图里你将不复存在。所以，在老友和新欢之间找到时间的平衡至关重要。

　　3. You’re Selfish

　　你很自私

　　Consider whether or not being selfish contributes to the fact that you don’t have friends. Friendship requires you to give, even when you don’t feel like it. If you’re only willing to do what you want, when you want it, it’s unlikely that your friends will tolerate it for very long.

　　你对于是否自私的态度直接影响着你有无朋友。友情需要付出，即便有时你不怎么愿意。若你只是随心所欲地行事，关于你的任性，朋友们可能不会长时间忍受下去。

　　4. You Don’t Care About Your Friends

　　你不关心朋友

　　If you don’t care what’s happening in your friends’ lives, your friends might not keep you around. It’s important to show interest in how your friends are doing. People will likely grow insulted if you don’t care to ask about them or you don’t care about their feelings.

　　如果你都不关心朋友的近况，那他们可能就会与你渐行渐远。向友人展现出你对他们热衷的关注不可或缺。若你不询问他们的情况，或不在乎他们的感受，对方极有可能会感到屈辱。

　　5. You Keep Score

　　计较友情的公平

　　Keeping score has no place in true friendship. If you try to keep score about whose turn it is to choose where you’re going to dinner or whose turn it is to call who, you will likely turn your friends away. Be willing to give to the relationship, rather than focus on trying to keep everything fair.

　　真挚的友谊容不下所谓的公平。如果你老是纠结下回轮到谁来决定聚餐点，或老是犹豫下回该给谁打电话，那你可能就会失去你的朋友。友谊是自然而然的关系，而非斤斤计较每件事情的公平性。

　　6. You Get Jealous

　　你爱嫉妒

　　If you feel jealous when your friend buys a new car, gets a promotion at work, or enters into a new relationship, it’s likely going to lead to problems. It’s important to celebrate with your friends and feel happy for them when they succeed. If you’re always feeling jealous, your attitude will likely shine through, even if you try to hide it.

　　当朋友买新车、升职、发展新恋情时，你若心生妒意，问题就会随之而来。当对方成功时，要与之同庆，与之同乐，这点很重要。可若你总是嫉妒他人，久而久之那份妒意就会暴露出来，不管你伪装得多么努力。

　　7. You Expect Too Much From Friends

　　你从朋友身上期许太多

　　If you expect your friends to always be available or always meet your needs, you’ll be disappointed. Your friends will hurt your feelings sometimes and will likely disappoint you from time to time. But that doesn’t meant they aren’t good people or that you shouldn’t remain friends with them. Practice forgiveness when your feelings get

　　如果你期望朋友总是时刻待命或满足你的需求，那将会让你失望。因为朋友有时会伤害到你的感情，也可能会时不时地令你失望。但那并不表示对方不好或你误交损友。当情感受到伤害时，要学会原谅。

　　8. You Gossip

　　你太八卦

　　If you gossip non-stop, people will recognize that you likely talk about them as well. Don’t talk negatively about other people or spread rumors. Instead, show that you can be trusted to respect people’s privacy.

　　如果你没完没了地八卦，别人就会觉得你可能会以同样的方式对待他们。所以不要去讲他人的坏事，也不要去传播流言。相反，你要表现出你是个尊重他人隐私，值得他人信赖的人。

　　9. You Bully Your Friends

　　你太霸道

　　Bullying doesn’t end in high school for many people. If you’re guilty of bossing your friends around or making demands, it’s likely that people won’t like you. It’s okay to be assertive with people, but make sure you don’t cross the line into behaving aggressively. Respect other people’s rights and work on developing healthy relationships.

　　好多人高中毕业后还一直霸道着。如果你对朋友呼来喝去，或随意差遣，那可能别人就不太待见你。特立独行没有错，但一定要把握那个度，不要越线变得咄咄逼人。要尊重他人的人权，致力发展健康的友情。

　　10. You Don’t Get Out Enough

　　你很宅

　　Of course, there is also a good chance that not having friends isn’t related to a specific character flaw. Instead, it might just be because you haven’t had the opportunity to meet people whose company you enjoy. If that’s the case, create opportunities to meet other people based on your interests and activities and be willing to take a chance on striking up a conversation with a stranger. It just might turn into a lifelong friendship.

　　当然，朋友少也可能会归咎于好的因素，而非特别的人格缺陷。也许，那只是因为你没有足够的机会遇见那个志同道合的友人。如果真是这样，那就要制造相遇的机会。并要根据你的喜好，挑选你爱的活动，做足跟一个陌生人侃侃而谈的准备。这种不期而遇兴许就成了地久天长的友谊。