老友记里的十大误区

　　High-waisted jeans are back in, and people still drink a lot of coffee — but that’s pretty much all our adult lives have in common with the poker-playing, apartment-swapping lives of the characters on Friends.

　　It’s been ten years since the series finale aired, and for those of us who spent hour upon hour watching the show, it’s still a bummer that our lives aren’t exactly like those of Rachel, Monica, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe and Joey. Adulthood was supposed to be about coordinated New Years’ dances, football games for troll trophies and songs about malodorous felines. Dating was supposed to be fun! (It’s not.)

　　Here are 10 lies Friends told you (and us) about life in our twenties:

　　1. Your friends are always around and never have anything better to do but hang out with you.

　　On Friends, every room you walk into is automatically full of great company. This is not the case in the real world. In fact, it’s more likely that you’ll run into the one person you hate than the five people you love. We spend more time texting about when we’ll hang out than actually hanging out.

　　2. You can count on getting a seat on the comfy couch at the coffee shop.

　　This cruel lie set us up for a lifetime of near-misses with coffee shop couches. The couch at Central Perk is always unoccupied and always has exactly enough room for all the friends to comfortably sit. In the real world, there’s only one reason a couch in a coffee shop stays open for long, and it usually has to do with some kind of bodily fluid or spillage.

　　3. Working is more of a suggestion than a requirement.

　　Just to pick on Central Perk once more: you have to wonder what cushy jobs all the friends had that they could take hour-long coffee breaks at a coffee shop far from their places of work in the middle of the day.

　　4. You can pay for a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on waitressing tips and chef’s wages.

　　Alright, Rachel and Monica “inherited” the apartment and all its amazing furniture from Monica’s grandmother, but they would still have to make rent on a part-time chef and waitress’ salaries. Seems a little too good to be true. Alas, it is.

　　5. You can have kids and still hang out with your friends just as much as you did before.

　　Nothing seems to get in the way of the friends hanging out at Central Perk, not even parenthood. Ben is born in the first season and Emma is born in the eighth season, but neither kid really seems to put a real dent in Ross or Rachel’s social life, which is mighty convenient. Emma tags along to the coffee shop all the time, and Ben basically becomes Ross’s ex-wife’s problem (even though Ross talked all the time about what a great dad he was.)

　　6. Having a pet monkey is totally allowed in New York City.

　　Newsflash: it’s not. It’s even hard to have a normal pet like a dog in a city with so few pet-friendly apartments. Don’t get us started on the chick and the duck.

　　7. You can’t walk down the street in New York without meeting an eligible singleton.

　　Oh, if only this were the case. The friends met their dates in coffee shops, restaurants, parks and even the middle of the street. What’s more, these eligible bachelors and bachelorettes ended up being ripped firemen, hot Dutch girls or tech billionaires. One of the friends had a date practically every episode, and Tinder hadn’t even been invented yet.

　　8. The person you’re “meant to be” with has been there all along.

　　On Friends, the great romances can be traced back hilarious and romantic moments from the gangs’ teens. Ross has a crush on Rachel since high school, and it’s only when the friends rewatched Monica’s old prom video that Rachel realizes how much Ross has always loved her. Monica and Chandler begin to develop feelings for each other during Thanksgiving vacations in college. If only there were real-life flashbacks that could tell you who “the one” is.

　　9. You can stay friends after you break up.

　　After some minor speed bumps — Rachel dropping “We were on a break!” every episode, Ross accidentally saying Rachel’s name at his wedding to Emily — Rachel and Ross were really, truly friends after their breakup, and not in a “friends who are trying not to fork each other in the eye” way. Most couples are not so mature.

　　10. Your friends will always be your friends forever.

　　Nothing can come between the Friends; not money, marriage or parenthood. Even after they drop off their keys in the series finale, you know they’ll always be friends. Sadly, that’s not always the case with our real-life friendships where people grow apart, meet other through work or social events or lose touch after they have their own families.

　　In other words, Friends is basically an adolescent conception of an ideal adulthood; your entire clique is hanging out all the time, with (almost) no parents and (almost) no responsibilities and plenty of cute boys. Sounds nice — but it’s only fiction.查看译文

　　许多年过去，高腰牛仔裤又开始流行，人们还是喜欢呆在咖啡馆——只是和《老友记》里的主演一样，我们大都还在过着程式化的合租生活。

　　距《老友记》大结局播出已有十年，我们曾花大把时间来追这部剧，现在我们已经长大，却无法像剧中的瑞秋(Rachel)、莫妮卡(Rachel)、罗斯(Ross)、钱德勒(Chandler)、菲比(Phoebe)和乔伊(Phoebe)一样活得潇潇洒洒。电视剧里的成年人又能参加新年舞会，又能看足球赛，还有闲情听关于臭臭猫的歌，电视剧里的约会总是充满乐趣!(现实生活中的约会却不是这样。)

　　《老友记》把二十多岁的青春生活描写得过于美好，我们20多岁时发现现实生活其实不是这样，具体而言有十个误区：

　　1.朋友们会整天什么事也不干，只是陪着你。

　　在《老友记》里，你随意走进一间房总能找到一群好友的身影。现实生活中却不是这样。实际上，你更有可能碰上一个敌人，而不是五个好友。我们大部分时间都在盘算着什么时候和朋友出去闲逛，却很少付诸行动。

　　2.你总能在咖啡馆里找到舒适的沙发座位。

　　这一误区是指，我们去咖啡馆总能找到沙发座位。电视里中央公园咖啡馆(Central Perk)正中有个很大的空沙发，足够六个人舒舒服服得蜷在一起。而在现实生活中，除非沙发上有污渍，否则一定轮不到你。

　　3.工作只是个选择，而不是必须。

　　再以中央公园咖啡馆为例：你可能觉得电视里的六个人工作都很轻松，他们大白天不用上班，反而赶很远的路来咖啡馆聚会，且一呆就是一个小时，这一点实在很奇怪。

　　4.你拿着厨师或是招待的工资，却能租得起格林威治村(Greenwich Village)的两居室公寓。

　　瑞秋和莫妮卡的公寓是“继承”的，家具也都是莫妮卡祖母的，但她们一个是临时厨师长，一个是招待，还得工作付房租。电视剧中的生活好得不像是真的，现在看来，还真是假的。

　　5.生完孩子以后，你仍有时间和朋友一起玩。

　　大概任何事都不能阻止电视中的六个好友在咖啡馆相聚，即使已为人父母，他们仍会时时碰面。第一季中，本(Ben)出生了，第八季中，艾玛(Emma)出生了，即使已生了一个孩子，罗斯和瑞秋仍游刃有余地进行着社交生活。艾玛则一路跟着瑞秋夫妇加入了咖啡馆的小圈子，本则跟着罗斯的前妻生活。(即使罗斯时刻标榜自己是个伟大的父亲。)

　　6.纽约可以养宠物猴。

　　快讯：纽约禁养宠物猴。纽约的许多公寓禁养宠物，即使是像狗之类常见的宠物也很少见到，更别说小鸡小鸭了。

　　7.在大街上逛两圈你就会有艳遇。

　　哦，这条要是真的就好了。老友记里的主演在咖啡馆、饭店、公园、甚至是在路中间都能遇见潜在的约会对象。电视剧里的单身男女和各色人约会：消防员，热辣的荷兰籍女孩甚至是科技新贵。每一集《老友记》中都会有一个人有新的约会对象，总是还没等爱的火花擦出就换人了。

　　8.你“命中注定的”那个人自始至终都在那里等你。

　　在《老友记》中，今天动人的情谊则源于昨日的牵绊。罗斯在高中时就暗恋瑞秋，直到六个人聚在一起重看莫妮卡的舞会视频时才发现了这一秘密。莫妮卡和钱德勒的感情则在大学时的感恩节假期时发展起来的。现实生活中，要是我们能通过电影里的闪回看看谁才是自己的“命中注定的那个人”就好了。

　　9.你和恋人分手后还能继续做朋友。

　　瑞秋每集都想放弃和罗斯的感情——即使在我们看来，这只是些小摩擦，她总会说“我们完了!”，罗斯在婚礼上错把艾米丽(Emily)叫成了瑞秋——瑞秋和罗斯分手后还能继续做真正的朋友，而不是那种“尽量不碰面的朋友”，这点现实生活中大部分情侣无法做到。

　　10.你们的友谊会永存。

　　《老友记》中的友谊坚不可摧，金钱，婚姻，孩子，都不能将他们分开。即使每季末，他们可能遇到一些麻烦，但你知道，到了下一季他们还会和好如初。然而，现实生活中，随着岁月的流逝好友难免会生疏，大家纷纷组建自己的家庭，因为工作关系或社交活动偶尔碰面，然后又转头离开。

　　换句话来说，《老友记》中的成人世界只符合青少年们的想象;大家一直聚在一起，(几乎)没有父母的管束，不用承担责任，生活中充斥着大把的帅哥。但说得好听点——这样的生活只存在于故事中。