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BEC商务英语初级写作范例及专家点评

2017-11-13 15:30:43 来源:网络BEC资料下载

  为了方便同学们的BEC商务英语学习,新东方在线BEC商务英语网为大家准备了BEC商务英语初级写作范例及专家点评,供大家阅读参考,希望以下内容能够为同学们的BEC商务英语考试提供帮助。更多有关BEC商务英语考试的内容,尽在新东方在线BEC商务英语网!

  本期作文题目:

  You are the office manager at an insurance company. You have arranged for contractors to upgrade your computer system. This means the system will be shut down for a full day.

  Write a memo of 40-50 words:

  informing staff of the shutdown

  telling them when it will happen

  asking them to prepare alternative work for the day.

  老师提示:

  商务写作中遵循的原则是:简洁,精确,礼貌。在考试中或者工作中,格式基本已经 给出,所以只需要我们写正文即可。正文中我们写作要做到选词精当,一针见血,语法正确,不出低级错误的句子。备忘录属于半正式的文体写作,所以在句子选择 上可以适当放宽,不必太正式。

  网友作文一:

  MEMORANDUM

  from : Tom TO : all staff

  date : 25/8

  Because our computor system will be upgraded by the contractors on 28 AUGUEST, so the system will be shut down for a full day on that day[1], i ask for you prepare alternative work for the[2] day. and the work don't use computer system .

  I think you can give a good performance to me to pass the accident. [3]

  TOM

  专家修改意见:

  [1]Business writing 中尽量少使用because....so... 这样的结构,看起来不够专业,改为:As we plan to upgrade.....

  [2]有中式英文的痕迹:我要求你们。。。。改为:please prepare alternative work if you have to use the computer.

  [3]这不能算作accident, 既然已经计划好了。整句去掉。换成thank you.

  网友作文二:

  From: office manager

  To: all staff

  Subject: the company system

  I would like to notify you that [1]the computer system of our company's will be shut down on this Tuesday for a whole day long [2]on account of the system needs a upgrade.[3]Therefore, please taking notice of this event in advance, in case of some potential inconveniences and troubles on Tuesday, yet prepare alternative work for that day. [4]

  Thank you.[5]

  专家修改意见:

  [1]去掉这个开头,直接用被动语态开头。

  [2]去掉,多余了。

  [3]如果你不能保证用长复句可以表达清楚,那么建议换成短句吧。拆成几个短句也许表达更贴切呢。

  [4]这句话看起来非常不清楚,主语在哪里?please 的后面是吗?改成:please make sure that you have prepared alternative work.

  [5]另换一行

本文关键字: BEC商务英语 BEC BEC写作

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