17种无聊的社交网络更新看看你中枪的了没

2014-09-17 11:50:48来源：中国日报网

　　7. Dozens of trivial pictures of people and their new boyfriends/girlfriends smiling and posing.

　　一堆人的照片，要么是张三李四，要么是和男/女朋友摆出Pose微笑的照片。

　　　　Analysis: This is a very interesting phenomenon. I’ve looked at a lot of people’s Facebook albums. Women typically begin a relationship and immediately start accumulating evidence of it. The more insecure the woman, the more evidence there will be. She will begin posting them as default profile pics. In a couple of weeks, she will no longer have a profile pic with just her in it. Then she tags the boyfriend, and the tagged photos are often the only ones that the boyfriend has on his page. However, he is absolutely required to “like” all of them. You can tell how long a relationship will last by the difference in pics between the couple. If the woman has 30 and the man has 3 – it’s over in 3 months. You can also gage how invested in the relationship your female partner is by counting the pics. Anything over 10 should be a warning that she wants to marry you. Some people have over a hundred, which shows some serious desperation in providing evidence that, in fact, they are really together.

　　分析：这种有趣的现象值得一说。我(原文作者)翻过很多人的Facebook相册了，一般来说，女人只要谈恋爱，马上就要发大量的证据。安全感越差，发的照片越多。开始的时候可能是默认的头像，几周以后，头像照片就找不到只有她一个人的了，她会发两人的合照，会把男友圈起来，她男友空间里只有一张照片，没错，就是这张被她圈起来的照片。她页面里所有的照片男人都绝对要点赞。想知道两人多久会分?看看照片数量的差距就知道。女人发了30张，男人发了3张——3个月分。女人有多少张照片，她对感情就有多投入。一旦超过10张，小心她产生“嫁给你好了”的想法。某些女士发的照片会超过100张，看来也是蛮拼的。

　　8. White girls wearing a lot of makeup and trying to strike a badass pose, sometimes making what they think are gang symbols.

　　女孩化浓妆比手势的照片，其实都是黑帮手势

　　　　Analysis: They wish they were badass, or at least half Chicano, but they’re just ridiculous.

　　分析：想尽方法装酷，至少有那么点其卡诺人的酷劲，但只是显得可笑十足。

　　9. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “I’m loving life right now.”

　　生活很美好之类的感人宣告：“我爱当下的生活。”

　　Analysis: Life is not good.

　　分析：日子过得不好才会这么说。

　　10. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”

　　对神的感人告白：“能活得这么好都是有您的庇佑，我的一切都归于上帝。若将上帝作为你唯一救星，永远不会悲伤。”

　　Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.

　　分析：如果你信宗教就多花点时间去教堂，花少点时间在Facebook上。

　　11. Updates about how much they drink and how excited they are to be drinking: "LOL...it’s only 8:30 and look at us!! We’re already drunk!! LOL!"

　　喝了多少酒，喝了酒以后多么兴奋：“LOL……才8：30看看咱爷们!!爷们儿已经醉啦!!LOL!”

　　Analysis: “I’m having fun. I swear. I'm not an alcoholic. I just don't know any other way of self-proclaiming my sense of being cool.”

　　分析：“我挺开心，真的。我不是酒鬼，只是我不知道还有什么别的方法表达我现在超爽的感觉了。”

　　12. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn’t get back in my car. Hahaha.”

　　憋个段子写些稀松平常的事情：“停车加油，又等了一个小时拿到处方。结果发现我把车钥匙丢了，现在车也进不去。哈哈哈。”

　　Analysis: “It’s funny, right? Please say it’s funny.”

　　分析：“好笑嘛，嗯?请你告诉我哪好笑。”

本文关键字: 无聊的社交网络更新社交网络更新