你是否有过明明和朋友约好见面，对方却在最后一刻临时取消的经历？是什么促使人们对已经约定好的社交活动改变心意？本文探讨科技发展和人格特质对人们在社交活动中爽约的影响。

词汇：socialising 社交

Do you have a friend who happily agrees to your plans, only to disappear when the time eventually comes? Maybe they flake on you and cancel last minute, or just don't tell you and then ghost you completely. Or just maybe, it's you that sometimes lets people down. What lies behind this reluctance to keep to engagements?

It could be our personality traits. According to psychology professor Richard Koestner, less conscientious or agreeable people tend to have less concern for others and are more likely to overbook themselves socially. While this can be due to bad time management, it can also be because people are afraid of confrontation and saying no to their friends, so end up agreeing to things that they don't really want to do.

Technology could be another factor behind people's willingness to back out of social commitments. Firstly, being able to cancel plans with a simple text message or pressing a 'not attending' button on an invitation, rather than doing it face-to-face or through an awkward phone call, is a much more frictionless way to say you have changed your mind. On top of this, people have become used to the instant gratification offered by social media and streaming platforms. Does this make real-life interaction seem mundane and arduous by comparison? Could it be generational? A 2017 study found that 45% of American millennials saw nothing wrong with withdrawing from social arrangements. Older generations were less likely to pull out of events that they had been invited to.

Whatever lies behind it, psychologists have advice for us. Kurt Gray from the University of North Carolina recommends a simple phone call to reinforce human connection. Andrea Bonior from Georgetown University tells us to gently let our friends know that being let down disrupts us and makes us feel less valued. Caution is important though. Life coach Kira Asatryan reminds us that sometime people withdraw, not out of disrespect, but because they themselves feel anxious, stressed or sad.

词汇表

flake on someone 放弃遵守与某人的约定
last minute 最后一刻
ghost 突然消失，不再联系（某人）
keep to 遵守，坚持
engagement 约定，约会
personality trait 人格特质
conscientious 认真自觉的
agreeable 随和的
overbook 做出过多的约定
time management 时间管理
confrontation 争执，冲突
back out 食言，变卦
social commitment 社交活动
frictionless 没有摩擦的，顺畅的
instant gratification 即时满足
mundane 平平无奇的，稀松平常的
arduous 艰难的，费力的
generational 代际的，代与代之间的
withdraw 放弃，退出
human connection 人与人之间的联系

测验与练习

1. 阅读课文并回答问题。

1. What kind of personality can lead people to be more likely to let others down?

2. Why do people sometimes agree to things that they don't really want to do?

3. True or False? It is easier to turn someone down face to face than via text message.

4. What percentage of American millennials didn't think withdrawing from arrangements was wrong?

5. What can a phone call reinforce?

2. 选择意思恰当的单词或词组来完成下列句子。

1. He's very reliable – he'd never _______ on me.

mundane flake ghost confrontation

2. People who are _______ respect others' time.

frictionless arduous generational conscientious

3. Smartphones have made us expect _______.

personality traits human connection instant gratification social commitment

4. People will get annoyed if you change your plans _______.

last minute mundane frictionless arduous

5. Openness and agreeableness are both _______.

engagements instant gratification personality traits social commitments

答案

1. 阅读课文并回答问题。

1. What kind of personalities can lead people to be more likely to let others down?

Less conscientious or agreeable people tend to have less concern for others and are more likely to overbook themselves socially.

2. Why do people sometimes agree to things that they don't really want to do?

Some people are afraid of confrontation and saying no to their friends.

3. True or False? It is easier to turn someone down face to face than via text message.

False. Cancelling plans with a text message, rather than an awkward phone call is a much more frictionless way to say you have changed your mind.

4. What percentage of American millennials didn't think withdrawing from arrangements was wrong?

A 2017 study found that 45% of American Millennials surveyed saw nothing wrong with withdrawing from social arrangements.

5. What can a phone call reinforce?

Kurt Gray from the University of North Carolina recommends a simple phone call to reinforce human connection.

2. 选择意思恰当的单词或词组来完成下列句子。

1. He's very reliable – he'd never flake on me.

2. People who are conscientious respect others' time.

3. Smartphones have made us expect instant gratification.

4. People will get annoyed if you change your plans last minute.

5. Openness and agreeableness are both personality traits.