从《新概念英语》谈英文写作中句子的升华

《新概念英语》三册的学习中很重要的一点就是写作能力的培养，而中国同学在英文语句的写作方面往往会有一些不那么“地道”的表达。我根据自己的教学经验和平时积累的同学们作文实例，对作文中经常出现的一些句子方面的问题作一个小小的总结。

1. sentence fragments (incomplete sentences)
l How to use it?
l The essay is poorly organized, there is no central idea.
l There were people who would be glad to see him leave the place, he knew it.
Exceptions made by experienced writers:
l He was, I think, very handsome. I gathered this from photographs and from my own memories of him. Handsome and proud, like a peacock. (sense and structure matched well)
l I shook his hands and his shoulders, as I cried out his name again and again, but, no response——he died. (a suspense created by short, incomplete sentence)

2. chop sentences (short, simple sentences)
In advanced writing, students are encouraged to write long and complex sentences, conveying sufficient information and ideas, making sense groups logically and naturally connected so as to achieve a tightly woven piece of writing. Short and simple sentences may be used for a change or for sentence variety, as well as for some special effect.
l There was a pine tree on the top of the mountain. It stood like a giant. It towered over the trees around it. (On the top of the mountain stood a giant pine tree, towering over the trees around.)
l Mr. Smith likes to drink all kinds of wines. Most of them are produced in France. (Mr. Smith prefers French wines.)

3. colloquial words and expressions in writing
Writing itself is generally formal, or at least less informal. Therefore, if it is not written for some special informal situation, formal and standard written language is preferred. Colloquial English is, in most cases, not proper in essay writing.
l I’ve got a terrible headache. (I am afflicted with a bad headache.)
l We don’t agree with that guy. (We can not see eye to eye with that man.)
l He didn’t say a word. (He kept silent.)

4. general and subjective words in writing
General and subjective words may suggest strong sense of personal and individual opinion, which may lack evidence and details. More specific and concrete illustration and objective analysis will speak louder and make readers more convinced.
Avoid using:
l I think…
l In my opinion…
l I firmly believe…(All the above may convince us that…)
l I wonder…(The problem may lie…)
l You may agree with me that… (What is acceptable by most of us may be…)
l My conclusion is… (From the above analysis, we may safely come to the conclusion that…)

5. monotony (lack of sentence variety) and redundancy (wordy language)
For monotony and redundancy (long and short, simple and complex, different sentence structures, etc./// too much repetition of some words, str), your writing may sound both boring and tiring. If you can change the pattern occasionally, readers may get refreshed and regain their enthusiasm and interest in it.

l Li Qing, who was a first-year student of the college, would go to a park near her school every day in the morning. She would bring a small recorder with her. In the park she would find a quiet corner and listen to a tape of English stories. (Every morning, Li Qing, a first-year student of the college, would go to a nearby park with a small recorder, where she would find a quiet corner and listen to a tape of English stories.)
l The machine was jointly designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his younger colleagues.
The machine was designed by the old engineer in collaboration with some of his colleagues.

6. logical problems
loose: The essay is poorly organized and there is no central idea.
(Without central idea, the essay…)
(The essay is poorly organized, as it has no central idea.)
unity: Born in a small town in South China in the early 50s, he grew up to be a famous musician.
(He was born in a small town in South China in the early 50s. In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he got a chance to learn music, and after many years’ efforts, he became a famous musician.)
coherence: An important thing for the student to remember is that when writing a paper, you (he) should not plagiarize.