《新概念英语》之写作漫论（一）

2010-05-21 00:00:00来源：上海新东方学校

　　2．前后重复
　　

　　在同一语境中出现两个或更多的表明同一意思的表达。在一篇短文中，每一个字都要有意义。简洁是写作的灵魂，不必要的重复常常使句子显得臃肿累赘，大大削弱了句子的表现力。
　　

　　例：
　　

　　（原）： We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.
　　
　　（改）： We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire. 　　
　　
　　（原）： My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.
　　
　　（改）： My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores. 　
　　
　　（原）：That’s the mutual aid to each other.
　　
　　（改）：That’s the mutual aid. 　　
　　
　　（原）：At one time total extinction threatened the panda.
　　
　　（改）：At one time extinction threatened the panda. 　
　　
　　（原）：Personally, I believe what you say.
　　
　　（改）：I believe what you say. 　
　　
　　（原）：Shall we collect the toys together?
　　
　　（改）：Shall we collect the toys? 　　
　　
　　（原）：It’s very unique/perfect.
　　
　　（改）：It’s unique/perfect. 　
　　
　　（原）：The hillside has become indistinct to sight.
　　
　　（改）：The hillside has become indistinct. 　　
　　
　　（原）：That rabbit is disappearing from the view.
　　
　　（改）：That rabbit is disappearing. 　
　　
　　（原）：It is blue in color, round in shape and small in size.
　　
　　（改）：It is blue ,round and small. 　　
　　
　　（原）：They are the most beautiful buildings I have ever seen before in my life.
　　
　　（改）：They are the most beautiful buildings I have ever seen. 　
　　
　　（原）：She is attractive in appearance, but is rather a foolish person .
　　
　　（改）：She is attractive but rather foolish. 　　
　　
　　（原）：For the purpose of clarity, we shall give each of you a translation of the document.
　　
　　（改）：For clarity, we shall give each of you a translation of the document. 　
　　

　　3．句式结构冗长繁琐
　　

　　先体会一下下列例句：
　　

　　（原）：While I was playing tennis, I decided that I would go for a swim in the lake.
　　
　　（改）：While playing tennis, I decided to go for a swim in the lake. 　
　　
　　（原）：She was delighted when she heard the good news.
　　
　　（改）：She was delighted at the good news. 　
　　
　　（原）：His words moved everyone who was present.
　　
　　（改）：His words moved everyone present. 　
　　
　　（原）：My father is a veteran worker who has retired.
　　
　　（改）：My father is a retired veteran worker.
　　　
　　（原）：I am much interested in the fund-raising drive. One of the reasons why I am interested is that I enjoy helping other people.
　　
　　（改）：I am much interested in the fund-raising drive because I enjoy helping other people. 　　
　　
　　（原）：Norman Green, who was a student at that time, wrote several best-sellers.
　　
　　（改）：Norman Green, at that time a student, wrote several best-sellers. 　　
　　
　　（原）：What will be the result if Peter does not come?
　　
　　（改）：What if Peter does not come? 　　
　　
　　（原）：All students in college are required to take different tests. These tests are for the purpose of determining what courses the students are suitable to take.
　　
　　（改）：All college students are required to take different tests to determine what courses suit them. 　　
　　
　　（原）：In comparison with the writing of composition, the reading of literature is not as difficult.
　　
　　（改）：Reading literature is not as difficult as writing composition. 　　
　　

　　莎士比亚有句名言——Brevity is the soul of wit. 简洁的文字，简洁的结构，简洁的行文应该是我们追求的目标。在写作过程中，我们要字斟句酌，删繁就简，剪裁浮字，把那些与句意表达无关的赘词冗语大刀阔斧地剔除掉，用简短的词语和结构表达复杂地句意，使我们的文章不仅生动活泼，而且言简意明，干净利落。

· 用《新概念》“激情联想法”提升英语
· 逐层击破：“新概念二”20天攻略
· 寒假里的新概念：学员感言录