双语新闻：微软新发的裁员备忘录遭嗤笑

2014-08-25 17:40:52来源：可可英语

　　Barely 10 days old, Stephen Elop’s “Hello there”memo has already become a classic example of hownot to fire people. It is a 1,110-word document stiffwith “appropriate financial envelopes”, “ramp-downs” and “ecosystems” which, towards the end,casually mentions that thousands of Microsoft jobsare to go. Rather than dish out the bad newsdirectly, the executive vice-president takes refugebehind a curious subjunctive: “We plan that thiswould result in an estimated reduction of12,500 . . . employees.”

　　斯蒂芬•埃洛普(Stephen Elop)那篇题为“Hello there”(你好)的备忘录才发出不久，就已成为彰显在裁员时要避免哪些做法的经典案例。这份1110个英文单词的备忘录，被诸如“appropriate financialenvelope”(直译‘适当的财务包络’，实指适当的开支上限——译者注)、“ramp-downs”(直译‘下坡’，实指业务收缩——译者注)和“ecosystems”(生态系统)这样的词搞得晦涩不堪，直到全文快结束时，才漫不经心的提到，公司将裁减成千上万个工作岗位。微软(Microsoft)的这位执行副总裁并未将坏消息坦率地讲出来，而是用一个奇特的虚拟语气句子打掩护：“根据我们的计划，这或将导致裁减约1.25万名……员工。”

　　Yet to focus on Mr Elop’s tin ear misses something. This memo deserves to become a set textfor all executives interested in communication. It adds value by showcasing the delivery ofbusiness piffle that is perfectly aligned with current high-end management guff. It is a casestudy in how not to write, how not to think, and how not to lead a business.

　　然而，把注意力集中在埃洛普迟钝的语言能力上，会忽略某些东西。对所有对沟通感兴趣的高管来说，这份备忘录值得作为必读教材研究一下。它还有一个价值，就是向人们展示了如何堆砌商业领域的无聊词汇——这些无聊词汇与当下高级管理层所说的一些鬼话高度一致。它是一个关于不该怎样写、不该怎样想、以及不该怎样领导一家企业的案例研究。

　　The only trouble with the text is that it is almost impossible to read. It took me severalattempts to get to the end, but having now made it, I feel I ought to perform the publicservice of passing on eight golden rules that occurred to me while slogging my way through.

　　这份教材的唯一问题是不堪卒读——我努力了好几次才读到末尾。不过，既然我读完了，我想我应该服务一下大众，向大家传达一下我硬着头皮读完此文后总结出的八条黄金法则。

　　Rule 1. Never be chatty unless you are a chatty sort of person. “Hello there,” is fine from agrandparent trying to jolly along a five-year-old. It is less good spoken by a corporate leaderto his ranks, especially when the jocularity begins and ends there.

　　第一条：如果你不是个说话轻松幽默的人，就绝不要试图做到轻松幽默。对一位想哄五岁小孩的祖父而言，说“Hello there”是可以的。但企业领导人向员工说这话就不那么妥当了，尤其是在全文的幽默只此一处的情况下。

　　Rule 2. Using clear words is nearly always a good idea – except when you don’t have anythingclear to say. The memo begins: “Microsoft’s strategy is focused on productivity and ourdesire to help people ‘do more’.” This is attractively simple (if you ignore the baffling invertedcommas), but is less attractively stupid. Do more what? There are things I’d like to do more of,like sleep, and other things I’d like to do less of, like nagging my children.

　　第二条：使用明确的措辞几乎总是个好主意——除非你根本没什么明确的事要说。备忘录的开头写道：“微软的战略专注于生产力和我们想帮人们‘做更多’的愿望。”这句话的迷人之处在于简单(前提是忽略掉那对莫名其妙的单引号)，不那么迷人的地方在于愚蠢。做更多什么事?有些事我是想多做点，比如睡觉。还有些事我想少做点，比如对我的孩子唠唠叨叨。

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