双语新闻：职场应警惕出差后遗症

2014-10-23 16:17:00来源：网络

　　Although the children are excited to see her when she returns, they also have ways ofexpressing their dissatisfaction with her absences. Her eldest daughter tells her, “I just trynot to think about you”, while her youngest can express his displeasure by ignoring her andpreferring his father.

　　尽管孩子们见到她回来很高兴，但他们也用自己的方式表达对她不在家的不满。大女儿对她说：“我就试着不想你。”小儿子则不太理她，只愿意跟爸爸呆在一起，以此表达对她的不满。

　　School evenings can be a reminder of the cost of her absences. “I didn’t even know whichteacher was my child’s and that’s when you think, ‘Am I really a bad parent?’, and that’s whenthe soul-searching happens.”

　　家长会让她体会到经常不在家的代价。“我甚至不知道哪个是我孩子的老师，这种时候你就会想，‘我真的是个坏家长吗?’你会开始反思。”

　　Peter Fonagy, a child psychoanalyst and chief executive of the Anna Freud Centre in London,has travelled extensively over several decades and many continents for his career. Onreflection, he regrets time spent away from his family. “If you ask me now if this was the bestway to bring up a family, I would say no,” Prof Fonagy says. “I might have pretended that itwas all to do with supporting the family, when it actually was much more to do with my career.”

　　儿童心理学家、伦敦安娜•弗洛伊德中心(Anna Freud Centre)的首席执行官彼得•福纳吉(Peter Fonagy)几十年来因为工作关系经常出差，去过很多大洲。回忆往事，他后悔自己有那么多时间不在家。“如果你现在问我，这是不是养育子女的最好方式，我会告诉你，不是。”福纳吉说，“我以前可能假装这都是为了养家，但事实上为了事业需要的成分要大得多。”

　　He says: “If you ask my kids if I spent too much time away, they would say ‘Yes’. Would I besad about that? Yes, I would be sad about that.”

　　他说：“如果你问我的孩子们，我是不是太不着家了，他们会说，‘是的’。他们这样说会让我感到难过吗?是的，我会感到难过。”

　　He continues: “My suspicion is that a lot of men are a little bit like me. We persuadeourselves that we are not necessary because our wives are so wonderful and better without us.And we convince ourselves that what we are doing for the family and the world at large is justso important that without that degree of person-to-person contact, the world as we know itwould disappear down a plughole.”

　　他接着说：“我觉得许多男性都有点跟我一样。我们说服自己，我们不是一定得留在家里，因为我们的妻子那么好，我们不在家她们做得更好。我们还说服自己，我们为家庭、以及整个世界所做的事情是那么重要，没有这种频繁的面对面接触，我们所知的这个世界就会土崩瓦解。”

　　Prof Fonagy believes work travel alone does not necessarily cause significant distress inchildren in the way that a father who is present and who is exceptionally negative or criticalcan. “Travelling becomes an issue when it creates conflicts between the parents – that is toxicfor the children.”

　　福纳吉教授认为，经常在家、但是特别消沉或严厉的父亲会让孩子感到非常痛苦，仅是经常出差的父亲倒未必一定会让自己的孩子像那样痛苦。“只有在出差导致父母发生冲突时，出差才会成为问题——父母间的冲突对孩子是有害的。”

　　Reactions to being left alone vary. On the positive side, it might encourage spouses leftbehind to seek more creative outlets or develop themselves professionally. For others, thetime apart may even suit them.

　　对于伴侣不在家，不同人的反应是不一样的。从好的方面来看，这或许会鼓励夫妻中被留在家中的那一位尝试去做更有意义的事情，或寻求职业发展。还有些人甚至更适合这种伴侣不在家的生活。

　　On the other hand, the spouse at home might feel abandoned, lonely or resentful. They mighteven retaliate by finding another relationship. Some of their frustration might becomeunconsciously directed towards the children, or demanding better behaviour from them tocompensate for being a largely sole parent.

　　另一方面，被留在家中的伴侣可能会觉得受冷落、觉得孤独或心生怨恨。他们甚至可能会另寻新欢来报复。他们可能会不自觉地将郁闷发泄到孩子身上，或要求孩子表现更好、以补偿自己经常独自照顾孩子的付出。

本文关键字: 双语新闻职场应警惕出差后遗症